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March 23, 2008

What's right when what's left is right?

I thought NBCCH INTERLINK newsletter readers might be interested in
this induction that I wrote during this incessant political debate, as follows:

Do you remember hearing as a child "always do what's right?" And
throughout the years, I have tried as hard as I could to think right and
to do right, because after all, what's left? It gets confusing
sometimes, though, because you have so many Republicans who are "right,"
and Democrats who are not..., but feel "left." And that's part of the
problem, you see, because Republicans always think they're right, and
that Democrats are "not right" (if you know what I mean), and it's just
not right to accuse them of being "not right" just because they tend to
be left. But Democrats also consider themselves "right", so who's left?
Certainly, not the "middle of the roaders", who are neither right nor
left, but who still consider themselves just as "right" as those on the
right, even though they aren't considered right either by those on the
right or left, isn't that right? But what then do you call those who are
left after those who consider themselves "right" and those who consider
themselves just as right even though they're "left?" So it's getting
harder and harder to determine right from left or even consider what's
left after you've chosen to think right and to do right. But isn't it
better to take what's left..., and to make it right,... right now?
Everyone knows that's the right thing to do, is this not right?

So, you can either think about what's right or about what's left..., or
just let your eyes close easily..., relax fully..., and trust your
unconscious mind to sort it out for you....Yes.......that's right!

Fred Waddell, Ph.D.

July 12, 2007

One Line Metaphor - Best Ever

There's a whole new ball game on Capitol Hill, all the lawmakers are getting back on their bicycles, moving down the field, preparing to hit it out of the park, remembering to never to count the chickens before the fat lady sings, and to hold on to their horses!

The nonsequitors are confusing, but then so is what goes on in Washington, D.C. these days.

Source: Washington Post

March 28, 2007

George Carlin on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60 .

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2 Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever Your home is your refuge .

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do copy and share this with someone.

We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

September 09, 2006

Which Therapeutic Approach is Best?

As an old pilot (started flying in 1956) and a Trainer in Ericksonian Hypnosis & Brief Psychotherapy, I often use flying stories metaphorically. The following story was told to me by Al Masetti, M.A., NBCCH. Al also is a pilot.

I tell this story when a student asks if the traditional form of hypnotherapy or the Ericksonian approach is best.

Fighters vs. Transports

A couple of A-10's fighter planes are escorting a C-130 Hercules transport and their pilots were chatting with the pilot of the transport to pass the time.

Talk fell on the subject of relative merits of their respective aircraft with the fighter pilots saying their planes were better because of their maneuverability, weaponry, speed and the like.

The C-130 transport pilot replied "Yeah? Well I can do a few things in this old girl that you'd only dream about."

Naturally, he was challenged to demonstrate. "Just watch," he tells them.

The C-130 continues to fly straight and level, and after several minutes the C-130 pilot returns to the air and says, "There! How was that?"

Not having seen anything happened, the fighter pilots say, "What are you talking about? What did you do?"

The C-130 pilot replies, "Well, I got up, stretched my legs, got a cup of coffee, then went back and used the
bathroom.

Ron Klein, NBCCH Executive Director for Administration
Email: aims@erols.com

Just for Fun: Is Hell - Hot or Cold?

The following is reputedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, and is now making its way around the Internet.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed, or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This allows two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year that, "... it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

The student received the only "A" given.


Submitted by : Brock Hansen, LCSW
Eating Disorders & Family Crisis Center
(202) 362-3009

August 15, 2006

THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?

Continue reading "THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?" »

August 03, 2006

Optical Illusion

Click the following link to experience a cool optical illusion.

http://www.patmedia.net/marklevinson/cool/cool_illusion.html

July 10, 2006

The Shepherd

A shepherd was in the country watching his flock of sheep when a brand new Jeep Cherokee screeched to a halt before him. Putting down his cell phone, the driver, a young man wearing Ray Bans, a Brooks Brothers pinstripe suit and Gucci shoes, leans out the Jeep's window yells to the shepherd: "If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd gazes at his flock scattered peacefully across the countryside and calmly replies: "Sure."

Our "yuppie" gets out of the Jeep, whips out his laptop, connects through the Internet via his cellular phone to the NASA site, accessing the GPS satellite, navigational system. Scanning the area, he creates an Excel database with dozens of spreadsheets and complex macros. From his high-tech miniature printer gushes forth a 150 page Draft Report.

Reviewing this Draft, he turns to the shepherd and says: "You have exactly 1,586 sheep!"

Shrugging in response to this information, the shepherd replies: "This is correct, go ahead and take one of my sheep."

He watches while the young man selects an animal and puts it into the back of the Jeep.

Then the shepherd asks: 'If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my animal back?"

"Sure, why not?" responds the confident, young man.

"You are a Consultant," says the shepherd.

"You are right! How did you guess?" the young man replies in amazement.

"Oh, it's easy", says the shepherd. " You show up here when no one invited you. You want to be paid for information which I already have. And, finally, you don't know ANYTHING about my business, because you just took my dog."

Submitted by: H.D.Johns, Ph.D.
Rockville, MD
hdj1@erols.com

March 25, 2006

Every One Needs a Lift

Feeling like you could use a little joy...Click the link below, sit back and experience Bliss.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4776181634656145640

March 08, 2006

Enjoy a Brain Tickle or Two!

Submitted by: Steve Adreas, M.A.

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Continue reading "Enjoy a Brain Tickle or Two!" »

March 01, 2006

The Science of Administratium (Joke)

Science has discovered a new atomic mass: Administratium.

This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number
of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice
neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one
reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take
less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it
does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion
of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons
exchange places.

In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time,
since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become
neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion
leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium
is spontaneously formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical
Morass."

February 28, 2006

Things we can learn from dogs to better our lives


1. Take naps, and stretch before rising.
2. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
3. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your
face to be pure ecstasy.
4. Run, romp, and play daily.
5. Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
6. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
7. Be loyal.
8. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
9. No matter how often you're scolded, don't pout. Run right
back and make friends.
10. Thrive on attention, and invite others to touch you.
11. Avoid biting when a little growl will do.
12. On hot days, drink lots of water and sit under a shady tree.
13. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
14. When others have a bad day, be silent, sit close by and
nuzzle them gently.

Steve Andeas, M.A., NLP Trainer
1221 Left Hand Canyon Dr., Boulder, CO 80302, USA

email: sa_inquiry@steveandreas.com