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      <title>Interlink</title>
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      <language>en</language>
      <copyright>Copyright 2008</copyright>
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            <item>
         <title>Limitless Living: A Guide to Unconventional Spiritual Exploration and Growth</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>By Reverend Prentice Kinser III, D. Min.<br />
Copyright 2007, <a href="http://www.ancientotterpublishing.com/">Ancient Otter Publishing </a>(TM)<br />
Reviewed by Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D.</p>

<p>From the moment I first leafed through Limitless Living, I knew that it would be thought-provoking and enlightening.  This is a book about "encounters with the Mystery;" a travelogue through spiritual mysticism and the many ways in which humans can experience the sacred and the divine. The author, Reverend Prentice Kinser III, writes from the heart.  He fills this book with stories, mostly from his own life, recording instances in which he has felt the presence of God, received "unconventional guidance," and glimpsed past lives.  </p>

<p>Limitless Living is a beginner's guide to knowing oneself as a spiritual being having a human experience.  Kinser, an Episcopalian Priest, hypnotherapist and pastoral counselor, provides exercises in which readers can identify their own encounters with "intuitive knowing" and trust that this guidance is not just wishful thinking. The author teaches strategies for accessing spiritual guidance and communication. He gives methods to "test the spirits" so that readers can determine whether the communication and revelations they receive are "of God" and true. </p>

<p>Kinser suggests several practices for finding one's own spiritual pathway: journaling, meditation, prayer, and Tai-Chi.  He tells us that these methods can lead us to Love and Light, to an expanded knowledge of the true self, to an experience of God, and to a deepening and reaffirming of our life purpose and direction. He speaks of guardian angels and departed souls, mantras, chakras, mindfulness, mind-body healing, energy cleansing and near-death experiences. He tells of conversations with ascended masters and of past life recall.  With respect to Native American traditions of shamanism, he relates his own vision quest, and the discovery of his power animal. </p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/07/book_review_limitless_living_a.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/07/book_review_limitless_living_a.html</guid>
         <category>Book Reviews &amp; Books for Sale</category>
         <pubDate>Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:01:51 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>Book Review-Training Trances: Multi-level Communication in Therapy and Training</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>By:  John Overdurf and Julie Silverthorn, <a href="http://www.metamodels.com/meta/meta.html">Metamorphosis Press</a>, 1995 <br />
(3rd ed.), 232 pages.</p>

<p>Reviewed by: Avner Eisenberg</p>

<p>Training Trances is a marvelous book for the experienced, or semi-experienced practitioner. Like many NLP and hypnotherapy books it is based on transcripts of a workshop led by the authors. The theme of the book is learning to conduct a hypnotic interview/session as Erickson himself might have done. </p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/06/training_trances_multilevel_co.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/06/training_trances_multilevel_co.html</guid>
         <category>Book Reviews &amp; Books for Sale</category>
         <pubDate>Sat, 07 Jun 2008 09:21:17 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>The Milton Erickson Institute of Houston </title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>The Milton Erickson Institute of Houston is presenting:</p>

<p><strong>Introduction to Ericksonian Hypnosis and Psychotherapy</strong></p>

<p>June 20-21 Okla City</p>

<p>Sept. 5-6     Houston <br />
 <br />
and<br />
 <br />
<strong>Advanced Ericksonian Hypnosis and Psychotherapy</strong></p>

<p>Oct 3-4  Okla City</p>

<p>Oct 17-18 Houston<br />
 <br />
Please see website for further details:  <a href="http://www.mhehouston.com">www.mhehouston.com</a><br />
</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/06/the_milton_erickson_institute.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/06/the_milton_erickson_institute.html</guid>
         <category>Advertisements</category>
         <pubDate>Tue, 03 Jun 2008 07:46:50 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>The Risks of Regressive Trauma Recovery Therapies</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>The October/November 2007 issue of the <strong><em>Scientific American Mind </em></strong>has an important article entitled "Brain Stains - Traumatic therapies can have long-lasting effects on mental health."  By Kelly Lambert and Scott O. Lilienfeld.</p>

<p>Hypnotherapists should find it of interest, most particularly those who engage in regressive trauma recovery approaches.  </p>

<p>To read the article, click the following link or copy it into your browser:</p>

<p><a href="http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=brain-stains">http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=brain-stains</a><br />
</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/05/brain_stains_the_risks_of_regr.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/05/brain_stains_the_risks_of_regr.html</guid>
         <category>Hypnotherapy</category>
         <pubDate>Tue, 27 May 2008 16:06:59 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>Marriage Enhancement Weekend Retreat</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><strong>Presented by:  Holistic Counseling & Retreats  **  In Scenic Woodland Park, Colorado</strong><br />
Cost: $495 per couple</p>

<p>Includes...<br />
<blockquote>Lodging, Meals, Group Sessions, Individual & Couple Exercises<br />
Hiking, Sauna, Hot Tub, Meditation Garden</blockquote></p>

<p>Meals are prepared & enjoyed together as a group to create an atmosphere of fun and camaraderie</p>

<p>Join licensed psychologists, Dr. Jaclyn Miller & Dr. Michael Petrasek at their breathtaking mountain retreat center.</p>

<p><br />
Located on 35 wooded acres with a direct view of Pikes Peak, Aspenshire is the perfect setting to renew and rejuvenate the intimacy of your relationship in mind body spirit & heart.</p>

<p>May 30th- June 1st, 2008, Friday 6:30pm to Sunday 4:00pm</p>

<p>Also call for Summer & Fall Dates</p>

<p>LIMITED TO FIVE COUPLES!</p>

<p>Create new joy, romance and fulfillment in your marriage!!<br />
Restore a sense of meaning & purpose to you relationship.<br />
                       <br />
Tai Yi Energy Work (Optional & limited space available)</p>

<p>440.546.0454<br />
888.333.4445<br />
</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/05/marriage_enhancement_weekend_r.html</link>
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         <category>Advertisements</category>
         <pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 18:01:48 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
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         <title>Quit for Good Workshop - Help Clients Stop Smoking </title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>Earlier this year, this workshop was presented for the first time. Enrollment was limited.</p>

<p>A number of people, who missed out on the first offering, asked that this workshop be presented again. Therefore, the next <strong>Quit for Good Workshop - Help Clients Stop Smoking </strong>is scheduled for the following dates: May 29, 30, 31, 2008.</p>

<p>Your first two client's fees will pay for this workshop!</p>

<p>Click the following link to open, read and print the invitation: <a href="http://www.ahtainc.com/I%20Quit%20Invitation.pdf">http://www.ahtainc.com/I%20Quit%20Invitation.pdf</a></p>

<p>The meeting rooms at the Crown Plaza/Sleep Inn accommodate a limited number of people comfortably. Therefore the enrollment is limited. Enroll ASAP to assure you reserve your place. </p>

<p>You can enroll by mail or call the AHTA office at 301-565-0511 to register by phone.</p>

<p>Approved C.E. Training<br />
APA, NASW, NBCC</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/05/quit_for_good_workshop_help_cl.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/05/quit_for_good_workshop_help_cl.html</guid>
         <category></category>
         <pubDate>Sat, 10 May 2008 13:33:40 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>Limits of Memory</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>We just received an email from <a href="http://LiveScience.com">LiveScience.com</a> regarding some interesting studies about the limits of memory.  We suggest you get on their distribution list to be emailed each time new articles are published.</p>

<p>To read the article, <a href="http://www.livescience.com/health/">CLICK HERE</a>.</p>

<p><br />
</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/04/limits_of_memory.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/04/limits_of_memory.html</guid>
         <category>In The News &amp; On the Internet</category>
         <pubDate>Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:42:53 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>BOOK REVIEW</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><strong>Monsters and Magical Sticks, There's No Such Thing as Hypnosis?</strong></p>

<p>by: Steven Heller, Ph.D. & Terry Steele</p>

<p><a href="http://www.newfalcon.com/">New Falcon Publications</a>, Tempe, AZ, 1987</p>

<p>There's No Such Thing as Hypnosis? This may appear to be a strange title for a book written by a man who has been in the field of clinical hypnosis for many years. So begins this delightful little book on hypnotherapy. Heller's point is both that there is no such THING as hypnosis - it is not a thing you can hold - and that in our everyday communications we are constantly hypnotizing and being hypnotized. Throughout the book he gives examples of clients whose problems are characterized as trances into which their family and friends have inadvertently put them. In a meeting with Erickson Heller asked, "Would you say that you perceive all presenting symptoms and complaints as being metaphors that contain a story about the "real" problem, and that your basic approach is to build metaphors that contain a story about the possible solution?" "Exactly!" replied Erickson. You might overlook this slim volume because of its small size, only 188 pages, and because of its seemingly flippant title, but you would be making a mistake. </p>

<p>The first four chapters talk about everyday experience seen as learning/hypnosis, and how often unpleasant memories are hidden from our conscious minds.  Chapters five and six deal with beliefs and representational systems, including a discussion of eye accessing cues.</p>

<p>Heller has a light touch and shows frequent flashes of humor. For example, when he explains his view that lead and preferred systems are dependent on the circumstances he writes, "I am now going to go out on a limb. I hope that you will refrain from sawing it off while I am perched upon it." He is of course on solid ground, as he offers numerous case histories illustrating each subject and teaching his insightful and compassionate approach to change work.  Subsequent chapters address other Ericksonian topics of conscious/ unconscious division, anchors and anchoring, and utilization.</p>

<p>Highly recommended.</p>

<p>Book review by: Avner Eisenberg<br />
</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/04/book_review.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/04/book_review.html</guid>
         <category>Book Reviews &amp; Books for Sale</category>
         <pubDate>Mon, 07 Apr 2008 22:17:22 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>BOOK REVIEW - With Your Eyes Wide Open: Life Without Stress</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>by Muriel Prince Warren, L.C.S.W., D.S.W, and FAAETS </p>

<p>Self-Published:  2007 - Dr. Warren's email: <a href="mailto:MPW0801@AOL.COM ">MPW0801@AOL.COM </a><br />
Reviewed by Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D.</p>

<p>"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life.  But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, and some debt to be paid.  At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.  This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness.  Happiness IS the way, so treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one." <br />
					-----With Your Eyes Wide Open, page 35</p>

<p>Can creative visualization and hypnosis fulfill your hopes and dreams and lead you toward the accomplishment of your goals?  Author, hypnotherapist, and psychotherapist, Muriel Prince Warren says "yes." In With Your Eyes Wide Open, she tells her readers that with creative visualization we can relax the amygdala; the part of the brain that secretes stress hormones.  Relax the amygdala and you can reduce the body's stress response. Instead of focusing on worries and fears, Warren encourages us to focus on our hopes, dreams, and goals and to reshape our "neural coding" for the better. Thus, we can improve the "deep unconscious wisdom system" of our minds. </p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/04/book_review_with_your_eyes_wid_1.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/04/book_review_with_your_eyes_wid_1.html</guid>
         <category>Book Reviews &amp; Books for Sale</category>
         <pubDate>Sun, 06 Apr 2008 15:55:41 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>Gestures Convey Message: Learning in Progress</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>I was reading an old newspaper the other day and ran across the following article.  I thought it might be of interest to NBCCHers, especially those therapists who work with students.</p>

<p>Ron Klein</p>

<p><strong>The Washington Post</strong></p>

<p>By <em>Rick Weiss</em><br />
Washington Post Staff Writer<br />
Monday, August 6, 2007; Page A06</p>

<p>Susan Wagner Cook, a third grader, stands at the front of her classroom, with an unfinished equation printed neatly on the whiteboard.</p>

<p>4 + 3 + 6 = ____ + 6<br />
 <br />
"I want to make one side," she says, as her left hand sweeps under the left side of the equation, "equal to the other side," she continues, now sweeping her right hand under the right side of the equation.</p>

<p>Equations are something the call is just ready to learn: The total value on one side of an equation should equal that on the other.</p>

<p>Some of the kids learn it quickly. Others taklonger. But what none of them know is that they are subjects in an experiment that is helping scientists understand one of the most familiar and yet mysterious components of human behavior: the hand gestures and how they may impact on learning.  To read the rest of the article, </p>

<p><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/05/AR2007080501179.html">CLICK HERE</a>.</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/gestures_convey_message_learni.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/gestures_convey_message_learni.html</guid>
         <category>In The News &amp; On the Internet</category>
         <pubDate>Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:43:51 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>What&apos;s right when what&apos;s left is right?</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>I thought NBCCH INTERLINK newsletter readers might be interested in <br />
this induction that I wrote during this incessant political debate, as follows:</p>

<p>Do you remember hearing as a child "always do what's right?" And <br />
throughout the years, I have tried as hard as I could to think right and <br />
to do right, because after all, what's left? It gets confusing <br />
sometimes, though, because you have so many Republicans who are "right," <br />
and Democrats who are not..., but feel  "left." And that's part of the <br />
problem, you see, because Republicans always think they're right, and <br />
that Democrats are "not right" (if you know what I mean), and it's just <br />
not right to accuse them of being "not right" just because they tend to <br />
be left. But Democrats also consider themselves "right", so who's left? <br />
Certainly, not the "middle of the roaders", who are neither right nor <br />
left, but who still consider themselves just as "right" as those on the <br />
right, even though they aren't considered right either by those on the <br />
right or left, isn't that right? But what then do you call those who are <br />
left after those who consider themselves "right" and those who consider <br />
themselves just as right even though they're "left?" So it's getting <br />
harder and harder to determine right from left or even consider what's <br />
left after you've chosen to think right and to do right. But isn't it <br />
better to take what's left..., and to make it right,... right now? <br />
Everyone knows that's the right thing to do, is this not right?</p>

<p>So, you can either think about what's right or about what's left..., or <br />
just let your eyes close easily..., relax fully..., and trust your <br />
unconscious mind to sort it out for you....Yes.......that's right!</p>

<p>Fred Waddell, Ph.D.<br />
</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/whats_right_when_whats_left_is.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/whats_right_when_whats_left_is.html</guid>
         <category>Hypnotherapy</category>
         <pubDate>Sun, 23 Mar 2008 22:55:31 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>The Collected papers of Milton H. Erickson on Hypnosis, Volume 1, The Nature of Hypnosis and Suggestion</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><img alt="open_book.jpg" src="http://ronklein.remoteserv.net/open_book.jpg" width="168" height="182" /></p>

<p><br />
By: Milton H. Erickson, edited by Ernest L. Rossi, Irvington Publishers, Inc., 1980 </p>

<p>Reviewed by: Avner Eisenberg </p>

<p>When a used set of the Collected Papers of Milton H. Erickson became available, I bought them thinking they’d be full of dense scholarly medical papers. Perhaps not easily readable, I reasoned they’d be useful for research some day. I couldn’t have been more wrong! I read volume I straight through and can’t wait to start volume II. </p>

<p>To reach for a comparison, if the literature on NLP is a finely carved ice swan, then The Collected Papers is the well from which the water was drawn to make the ice. One is reminded over and over that NLP is largely based on Erickson’s ideas and practices, and many of the presuppositions and concepts of NLP are hidden in Erickson’s clear and friendly prose. </p>

<p>For example, in an interview with the editor, Erickson lays the ground-work for matching predicates. </p>

<p><em>"…I’m a visual type, so I use visual memories. [Erickson goes on to explain how he first explores a patient’s early memories to determine whether they are predominantly visual or auditory. He then utilizes these predispositions in later trance work. One patient, for example, was able to distract himself from pain by focusing on the memories of the sound of crickets, which he enjoyed in his childhood."  </em>(p. 124) </p>

<p>In another passage he explains the use of sub-modalities in hypnotic anesthesia. <em>“You can also experiment with altering your sensations and perceptions: warmth, cold, color, sounds, etc.” </em>(p.126) </p>

<p>Elsewhere Erickson explains the use of minimal sensory cues, pantomime techniques, respiratory rhythms, and ”<strong>my-friend-John</strong>” stories. </p>

<p>Volume I, begins with a lengthy discussion of Erickson’s early experiments investigating the nature of hypnosis and establishing the difference between hypnotic and non-hypnotic realities. Though this section is a little long, it gives a clear view of the thoroughness with which Erickson approached the study of hypnosis. There are telling passages that record Erickson’s problems with the methodology and conclusions of Clark Hull, who first introduced Erickson to hypnosis. We see how Erickson carved out his own territory in hypnosis from the beginning o his career. </p>

<p>His thoroughness is illustrated again as Erickson describes his process for developing suggestions. </p>

<p><em>“In working out various hypnotic approaches, I’ve written them down in detail so that I could understand the actual meaning of the statement that I made.  You can rearrange the wording to see the advantage of placing one phrase or one clause first and the other one, second. Years ago I’d write out about 40 pages of suggestions that I would condense down to 20 pages and then down to 10. Then I’d carefully reformulate and make good use of every word and phrase so I’d finally condense it down to about five pages. Everyone who is serious about learning suggestion needs to go through that process to become truly aware of just what they are really saying.” </em>(p. 489) </p>

<p>The following chapters develop Erickson’s groundbreaking work in naturalistic, utilization, and confusion techniques. Also included is an illustrative transcript of Erickson conducting and induction with comments by Erickson, Jay Haley, and John Weakland. </p>

<p>A chapter is devoted to a hypnotic technique for resistant patients complete with discussion of the rationale, case histories, and another annotated transcript of the technique in action.  There is also a thorough discussion of arm levitation and other hypnotic phenomena such as amnesia and catalepsy, and their importance in effective trance work. </p>

<p>This seminal volume ends with several papers on the possible dangers of hypnosis. The book is essential reading for anyone interested in practicing Ericksonian hypnosis and NLP. We see clearly the roots of NLP in Erickson’s own words. </p>

<p>To purchase the delux edition of the Collected papers of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. click the following link:</p>

<p><a href="http://www.erickson-foundation.org/collectedworks/">http://www.erickson-foundation.org/collectedworks/</a><br />
</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/the_collected_papers_of_milton.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/the_collected_papers_of_milton.html</guid>
         <category>Book Reviews &amp; Books for Sale</category>
         <pubDate>Sat, 22 Mar 2008 19:17:17 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>Advertisment - Introduction to Ericksonian Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming Seminar</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>Through presentations, practice, & demonstrations, attendees will be introduced to the following aspects of Ericksonian Hypnosis:</p>

<p> Establishing and sustaining rapport both consciously and unconsciously<br />
 Clarifying the interconnectedness of Ericksonian hypnosis, brief therapy, & neuro-linguistic programming<br />
 Effectively utilizing patterns of hypnotic induction, anchoring & suggestion<br />
 Discerning client language and thought patterns to enhance change operations<br />
 Managing resistance in a manner that facilitates change processes<br />
 Facilitating self-hypnosis for resource reinforcement & ongoing growth<br />
 Utilizing hypnosis in solution-focused strategies for efficient treatment of symptoms including anxiety and compulsive behavior</p>

<p>To read and print the brochure for this seminar <a href="http://www.natboard.com/ITS%20Seminar-V51%20pdf.pdf.pdf"><strong>CLICK HERE</strong></a><br />
</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/advertisment_introduction_to_e.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/advertisment_introduction_to_e.html</guid>
         <category>Advertisements</category>
         <pubDate>Sun, 16 Mar 2008 10:53:35 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>Hypnosis, Skin Care, Gorgeous Smiles and Good Health</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>By Ron Klein</p>

<p>A recent study from the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor has associated smoking with fine wrinkles all over the body — including the face. </p>

<p>“We examined non-facial skin that was protected from the sun, and found that the total number of packs of cigarettes smoked per day and the total years a person has smoked were linked with the amount of skin <br />
damage and wrinkles a person experienced,” said Yolanda R. Helfrich, MD, lead author and assistant professor of dermatology at the U-M Medical School. The Study appears in the March issue of the journal Archives of Dermatology.</p>

<p>If skin that is protected from the sun by clothing experiences significant harm leading to wrinkles, just think what the skin on your face must be suffering as a result of continuing to smoke. And if that isn’t enough to get you concerned about your appearance, smoking also turns your teeth yellow and can cause damage to your gums.</p>

<p>Recent studies have shown that tobacco use may be one of the most significant risk factors in the development and progression of periodontal disease. How does smoking increase your risk for periodontal disease? As a smoker, you are more likely than nonsmokers to have the following problems: Calculus – plaque that hardens on your teeth and can create deep pockets between your teeth and gums, leading to loss of the bone and loss of your teeth. </p>

<p>In addition to the obvious benefits to your appearance, quitting smoking reduces your risk for many other serious medical problems such as lung disease, cancer, heart disease and low-birth-weight infants. Another health problem associated with tobacco is emphysema, which, when combined with chronic bronchitis, produces chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Smoking also increases the risk of oral, uterine, liver, kidney, bladder, stomach, and cervical cancers.</p>

<p>Dr. Andrew Weil author of “Natural Health, Natural Medicine” as well as dozens of other books on wellness, has recommended hypnotherapy to stop smoking, alleviate pain, lessen the side effects of chemotherapy, alleviate symptoms of autoimmune disease, counteract fears and sleep problems, and even to get rid of warts. Dr. Weil says, "In general, I believe that no condition is out of bounds for trying hypnotherapy on."   Finally, CNN NEWS REPORTS: “New study reports over 200 effective uses for hypnosis.</p>

<p>You are free to copy this article to use in your practice marketing, client newsletter or in any way you choose.</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/hypnosis_skin_care_gorgeous_sm.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/hypnosis_skin_care_gorgeous_sm.html</guid>
         <category>Hypnotherapy</category>
         <pubDate>Thu, 06 Mar 2008 13:48:15 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>An Embedded Metaphor for Letting Go Past Hurts </title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>By: <em>Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D.</em></p>

<p>One day a client, Bill, came to see me. His problem was this: He was working on his doctorate degree.  He had taken all the coursework, and passed the exams.  Now it was time to begin the research to write his dissertation.  Somehow, he said, he just couldn't do it.  He kept saying "I don't know why I get in my own way.  I just hold myself back from doing what I want to do."</p>

<p>Now having the time really wasn't the problem, because he was on sabbatical leave from his job.  Additionally, he had income from rental property, so money wasn't a problem either. Here was Bill's strategy for not working on his dissertation.  He got up every morning and reminded himself that later on in the day, say in the afternoon sometime, he would set down at the computer and begin the work.  Then he got busy on other chores, and in the afternoon, he would watch TV or take a nap, or take a walk, and by evening, realize he had forgotten completely about working on his dissertation. He told himself that he had wasted most of the day, and evening was really too late to make any headway, so he would do it tomorrow.  But every day he produced the same result.  </p>

<p>By the time he came to see me, he was getting very frustrated and angry with himself.  "What do you want as your outcome?" I asked.  </p>

<p>"Well," he replied, "I need to understand why I am doing this.  I've got to get to the bottom of it and figure it out."  </p>

<p>"And what will that do for you?"  </p>

<p>"Well, then I will understand myself, and then I will know what's really wrong with me."  </p>

<p>"And how will knowing what's really wrong with you help you get to work on your dissertation?"</p>

<p>"I don't know."</p>

<p>"Then, how can I help you?"</p>

<p>"Help me understand what is holding me back."</p>

<p>So I told Bill to relax, close his eyes, and contact the part of himself that kept him from working on his dissertation.  He said, "It looks like a big rock." </p>

<p>Then I said, "What is the positive intention of this part?"  </p>

<p>"It's there to protect me from rejection."  Then Bill went on to describe the time when he proposed a new business approach to his employer.  He had spent weeks working on his idea, labored many hours on the proposal, and was sure the management would be excited over his new idea.  Instead, his ideas were instantly rejected and he was crestfallen.   </p>

<p>"I guess I worry that my dissertation will be rejected too-that all my hard work will be for nothing.  So why try?"</p>

<p>"This part wants to protect you from failure, and yet, ironically, the real failure is not doing it at all.  The only way to know whether you'll succeed is to go ahead and do it. If this part wants to protect you from failure, then it certainly wants you to succeed.  Maybe this part can help you find a better strategy for success, since the one you have been using hasn't worked very well."</p>

<p>"I know, but I guess I carry that rejection with me.  I just want to uncover the reason for all this.  What happened to me in the past that I am so afraid?  I've just got to dig down until I find it."</p>

<p>So I told Bill to close his eyes and breathe deeply and relax and think back to his earliest memory of rejection and frustration.  Within minutes he opened his eyes and told me about it. </p>

<p>He said he was in the fifth grade, and it was the day book reports were due.  Each student was supposed to stand up and read his or her book report to the class.  However, Bill had forgotten to do his book report.  When the teacher called on him, he stammered that he did not have the report.  The teacher called him to the front of the class and said "Here is a lazy boy.  He will get an F today." He had to stay inside during recess and write 100 times: "I remember to do my homework every day.  I remember to do my homework every day.  I remember to do my homework every day."</p>

<p>Bill said it was one of the more humiliating experiences of his life. </p>

<p>"Do you think this is the root cause of your difficulty?" I asked.</p>

<p>"I don't know." he said.  "It was so long ago, it seems strange that it could still affect me so much."  </p>

<p>"Well," I said, "What if that is the cause?  Let's suppose it is.  Now that you know about it, and it was a long time ago, and you are older and wiser now, how does it change your commitment to working on your dissertation?"</p>

<p>"I don't know."  </p>

<p>"Bill," I said, "Visualize the part of yourself that wants you to complete your dissertation.  What do you see?"</p>

<p>He sat silently for a long time.  Finally he said, "I see nothing."  </p>

<p>I said, "Bill, you have a good strategy for not working on your dissertation, and what you need is an even better strategy for working on your dissertation.  Let me tell you a story about a man named Brian.  </p>

<p>The story begins with Brian out on a river in his canoe.  It is a beautiful, relaxing day.  The water is tranquil and still, barely moving.  All around, everything is peaceful, serene and calm.  Brian is paddling his canoe gently through the water.  He is alone on the river and he loves the peace and quiet.  He is relaxed and alone with his thoughts in the solitude.  The water is still, like a mirror, reflecting the view.  The sky is a clear blue.  The trees are green.  It is a perfect day for floating down the river, effortlessly, on the gentle currents.</p>

<p>Now on this day, Brian brought along one of his favorite possessions-a plastic box full of rocks.  Now these were not just any rocks.  One was feldspar, one was lead, one was quartz and one was agate---lots of different rocks.  Each was a different kind.  Each held a memory.  Brian liked to open that box from time to time and gaze upon his collection and remember where each rock came from.  And that was what he was doing that day, in the canoe, on the lake.  Just floating along...gazing at his rocks...remembering...</p>

<p>He picked up the feldspar and held it in his hand.  It was heavy and solid.  This was the very first rock in his collection.  He thought back about how the rock came into his possession.  It was not a happy memory.  In fact, it was one of humiliation.  </p>

<p>He was only 10 years old and one day in the classroom, his teacher called upon him to give a presentation.  He was not prepared.  He didn't understand how to complete the assignment.  He stumbled over his words and the other children snickered.  He felt terrible.  He could tell his teacher disapproved.  That day, as he left school, a couple of the school bullies followed him, taunting him, walking behind him.  They yelled "You sure are stupid."  They said it over and over again.  Brian couldn't stand it any longer.  He turned on the bullies and said 'You want to fight about it?'  </p>

<p>'Sure,' they said.  Brian was scared.  He was trying to be brave.  What he didn't know was one of those boys had a large rock in his hand.  As Brian turned around to face the bullies, one of them threw the rock at him.  It hit him smack in the forehead-hard!  It nearly knocked him out.  He was stunned and reeling from the blow.  The rock broke the skin and blood began pouring down his face-into his eyes, into his mouth, down his neck onto his shirt.  He screamed in terror.  He thought he was going to die.  He ran home.  He could barely see his way.  The boys yelled after him.  'Hey, why don't you finish what you started? Are you a coward?'  And he could hear their derisive laughter.</p>

<p>When he arrived home, all bloody, his mother was horrified.  She rushed him the emergency room, where he received x-rays of his skull and stitches across his forehead. It was painful and he cried.  The doctor said there was no fracture, but he should rest in bed a few days, to make sure there was no concussion.  </p>

<p>So the next day, while Brian was resting in bed, his neighbor, Mr. Reese came over for a visit.  The man stuck his head in the door of Brian's bedroom. 'Mind if I come in? I'd like to help you feel better.'  </p>

<p>'Sure Mr. Reese, it's okay. I wish you could help me feel better.'</p>

<p>"Hey! No more Mr. Reese.  Call me...Grant...your wish...is my command. I brought a friend to visit you."  And Grant reached behind him and brought out his cute little black and white puppy, named Secret.  Now everyone knew how Secret got his name.  Secret was a present to Grant for his birthday, from his wife.  He kept asking her what she would give him for his birthday and she kept saying, "It's a secret."  On his birthday, she handed him a large colorful gift bag, and out crawled a puppy.  'Well,' he said, 'The secret is out now!' And so that became the puppy's name. </p>

<p>This puppy had a very strange habit.  You see, puppies don't learn by logic.  They learn by association.  The Reese family had a very small yard and they worried that Secret might wander into the street and be killed by a passing car, but at the same time, they didn't want to keep him on a chain.  So they installed an invisible fence around the perimeter of the yard.  That's an electrical wire buried around the outside of the yard, and when it is active, it emits a signal. The dog wears a receiver on his collar.  When he gets to the close to the edge of the yard, his receiver picks up the signal, and he gets a painful shock.  </p>

<p>The first day the fence was installed, Secret was resting in the shade of a tree, and he saw of leaf float to the ground, at the edge of the yard.  Guided by his curiosity, he went over to inspect the leaf.  Just as he leaned over to sniff the leaf, ZAP! He got a painful shock.  He jumped back, surprised and indignant, and angry!  He growled and barked at the leaf, as if to say, "Leave me alone, or I will teach you a lesson!"  From then on, Secret always barked and growled at leaves, in order to protect himself and his family from those evil creatures.  </p>

<p>He also learned to stay within the boundaries of his yard, after he got shocked a few times.  The family eventually discovered they could turn off the electricity on the invisible fence, and Secret would still stay in his yard. He had learned to never venture forth, not take chances.  </p>

<p>Now here's the sad part of the story.  A couple of years later, the family moved out to the country to a home on a two acre lot, where Secret could finally have the freedom to run and play and chase rabbits and squirrels and have the time of his doggy life.  However, by that time, Secret had learned to stay within a few feet of the front door.  He never knew about the freedom and joy that was waiting for him, just beyond his imaginary barrier.  Instead, he continued to stay in his comfort zone, defending himself and his family against those hateful leaves.  </p>

<p>Now when Brian was well again, he dreaded going back to school, because he was afraid of the bullies.  Fortunately for Brian, they were expelled from school and reprimanded severely.  Since they were forbidden to pick on Brian, they eventually found other victims.  </p>

<p>One day, walking to school, Brian saw a rock beside the sidewalk.  He picked it up. It was the same rock that had hit him in the head!  He looked at it carefully, and he saw little sparkles on the surface.  He'd never seen a rock like that before.  He put it into his backpack.  </p>

<p>For years, Brian carried that rock around in his backpack.  It reminded him to be a survivor.  One day, in high school, he showed it to his science teacher, who said, "Brian, that rock is feldspar---very rare around here."  Brian was fascinated that the rock actually had a name. </p>

<p>Brian began collecting rocks and he became a geologist.  At one point he had so many rocks in the house that his wife complained.  The rocks were taking up too much room! So he donated many of his rocks to a museum.  But he still held on to a few of his favorites.  </p>

<p>That day, on the lake, he stopped paddling and gazed at his collection.  As he looked at each rock, he remembered. He found the lead while hiking up a mountainside.  He found the granite while digging around in a quarry.  He dug up the agate in a farmer's field.  Each rock was a memory in itself. </p>

<p>The day grew warmer, and the gentle motion of the boat caused Brian to drift into a drowsy reverie.  He was almost sleeping.  He didn't notice his oar slipping away, floating out of reach.  He didn't realize his canoe was drifting aimlessly down the river toward white water.  He didn't wake up until it was too late.  There he was in white, churning water, without a paddle.  His canoe was tossed this way and that.  He held on and tried to steer the canoe with his body weight.  He hoped he could beach the canoe and walk to safety.  Instead, his canoe overturned, and just as Brian was about to capsize, he grabbed the box of rocks, secured the lid, and held it to his chest. He told himself he'd be okay, because he could swim, and he was sure he could find a firm foothold soon. </p>

<p>However, the water was deeper than he thought.  He could not find a foothold.  He was floundering and gasping for air. He clutched his rocks tightly and tried to tread water. He kept going under and swallowing water.  The rocks were weighting him down.  He couldn't keep his head above water.  He was in trouble.  He would push to the surface and gasp for air, and sink again.  He realized he was facing life or death.  Only one thing was holding him down-all those rocks.  He didn't want to let go. He clutched his box of rocks.  Hold on or let go! Sink or swim! Now or never!  The situation was more desperate every moment. Hold on or let go! Sink or swim! Now or never!" </p>

<p>At this point I looked at Bill who had been very quiet during the telling of this story.  "Well, Bill," I said, "do you still want to get to the bottom of the problem, or do you want to go home and get to work on your dissertation?"   </p>

<p>You are probably wondering how this story ended and whether Bill finished his dissertation.  I'm deliberately not telling you because this story is not really about Bill or Brian or Secret, but about the dilemma we all face when we hold on to the hurts of the past and keep wondering why we are stuck, instead of taking action to move forward.  If you are stuck on some project, read the story again, and decide how you want your own story to end.  </p>

<p>While you are contemplating all the meanings in this story, you might want to also look up something called the Zeigarnik Effect - and I'm not going to tell what that is either. 2 </p>

<p>____________________</p>

<p>Judith E. Pearson Ph.D. maintains a private counseling practice in Springfield, Virginia, specializing in hypnotherapy and NLP.  She is the Executive Director for Certification for the National Board for Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists.  She has recently published The Weight, Hypnotherapy and You Weight Reduction Program: A Manual for Hypnotherapists and NLP Practitioners (Crown House, Ltd.).  Her web site is www.engagethepower.com. </p>

<p>1 No more mysteries. <br />
2  Many thanks to Ron Klein for providing excellent critique to this article and helping me improve the message. </p>]]></description>
         <link>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/an_embedded_metaphor_for_letti.html</link>
         <guid>http://natboard.remoteserv.net/interlink/2008/03/an_embedded_metaphor_for_letti.html</guid>
         <category>Stories and Metaphors</category>
         <pubDate>Wed, 05 Mar 2008 21:01:35 -0500</pubDate>
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